Smoking a joint or spliff is an enjoyable occasion — if you use a filter. If not, in my opinion, your joints are a hot mess. You’re probably a hot mess too, and if that rings true, keep reading. Do your joints get super soggy and chewed up? Can you smoke all the way to the end without burning your fingertips off? I am going to give you a few tips on how to be less of a hot mess, particularly when it comes to finding a roach clip in an urgent situation. Roach clips are everywhere, you just haven’t got the hang of looking properly yet.

Filter it

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This has to come first. Use a filter, folks. If you are getting frustrated with the ends of your spliffs getting mashed up and damp, start using a filter of some kind. Glass, cardboard, whatever; use a bloody filter, mate.

Roach clips in the bathroom

DIY Roach Clip

If you’re a female, head to the bathroom and find your hair and cosmetics stuff. If you’re not a female and you have close access to one, congratulations. Now raid her stuff. If you are without access to female hair and cosmetic products, skip to the next step. Unless you want to ask your Mom. If you have access to hair and makeup stuff, look for bobby pins, barrettes with small clips, tweezers, nail scissors and other objects that can be used as small pincers. I always keep a few bobby pins on hand in my purse for ‘emergency’ moments. If you’re a Doctor, hemostats are the BEST!

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Roach clips in the office

DIY Roach Clip

Ok, I’m not encouraging you to smoke at work, or in your home office either, but if you know you are going to need something to hold that crappy blunt together later, take a look around. You need paperclips, the little photo blocks that have clips on top to hold photos, pens with arms or anything that you might be able to slide your soggy joint end into. Stock up on paperclips, they’re easy and discreet to use!

Use your bowl

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If you’re a pipe smoker, use your resources and stick that spliff in your pipe. Keep it lit by inhaling through the pipe and hold the flame to it… You’ve seen this done before, I’m sure. If you have no bowl available, but you just happen to be near the refrigerator in the kitchen, look for some good strawberries. Use a straw to ‘holepunch’ the middle of the strawberry out, stick your joint in the thick end and use the smaller end to inhale and smoke! Get creative!

Roach clips around the house

DIY Roach Clip

They are everywhere. Clothing pegs? Dolls clothing pegs? Yes! Even better than real adult clothing pegs, because of the petite size. In a pinch, a real adult grown up sized peg might just do the trick too. (It will, I have done it.) If you have a sewing kit or a parent/partner/lover that does, get in that sewing kit! Sewing kits have tiny scissors, some kind of clothing pins, and cotton thread bobbins. You can stick your joint in the end of these and inhale through the other end!

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Get out and explore

DIY Roach Clip

Roachclips are best created while high. Head to Goodwill or the local arts and craft store to find yourself some small clips or fancy dessert forks that you can decorate and turn into a unique clip for yourself. Or for your Mom, if you used something of hers previously.